


Candy Is Evil In Large Quantities

by heartsdesire456



Series: Professor Coulson: Professional Dad [3]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Candy Overdose, Humor, M/M, Parent Phil Coulson, Tummy Ache, halloween fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-27 16:48:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5056246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil had known when Clint and Skye got home in their matching mermaid/merman costumes with three massive bags of candy that it wouldn’t end well. </p><p>What he didn’t expect, however, was that Clint would be the one to overdo it on candy, not Skye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Candy Is Evil In Large Quantities

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't resist after last night, lol. Sorry? Not sorry? Enjoy? (depending on how you like it)
> 
> Also! You'll notice I changed this to a series to connect these fics. It just made more sense now that there are 3.

Phil had known when Clint and Skye got home in their matching mermaid/merman costumes with three massive bags of candy that it wouldn’t end well. 

What he didn’t expect, however, was that Clint would be the one to overdo it on candy, not Skye.

“Nnnnnngggg, Phil, I’m dying,” Clint whined, sliding down the couch to lay his head on Phil’s lap. He curled his arms around his middle and pulled his legs up, looking ridiculous in the fetal position wearing a merman tail, still. “Phiiiiiiiil,” he whimpered, blinking up at him with big, wide blue eyes. “Phil, rub my tummy.”

Phil snorted. “Clint, I told you not to eat so much candy.”

“But I didn’t listen!” Clint moaned, giving him a pout. “ _I didn’t listen_ ,” he whispered weakly.

Skye rolled her eyes from her spot on the floor, still wearing her seashells and tail. “Daddy, I think there’s only one humane way to go about this.” She gave him a very straight-faced look. “Take him out back and shoot him,” she said in a tone that was almost as cold and scary as her Aunt May.

Clint whined pitifully. “Skyyyeeeee! You’re supposed to be on my side!” He sniffled dramatically. “You don’t love me.”

She shrugged. “I do but...” She looked down at the rest of ‘Clint’s bag of candy and smirked deviously. “That’s a lot of chocolate. If you die, it’s aaaaaall mine.”

“Think again,” Phil countered, giving her a stern look. “You know the rules.”

She gave him a wide-eyed, innocent look. “Even if my favorite person ever dies?”

“Even if he dies,” Phil confirmed.

She sighed heavily, slumping. “Harsh, Man. Very harsh.”

Clint laughed and then whimpered, curling in a tighter ball. “Oh don’t make me laugh, I’ll throw up all over your dad.”

Phil rolled his eyes, reaching down to rest his hand on Clint’s belly. “You’re not going to throw up on me,” he said, and Clint whimpered but closed his eyes and snuggled closer as Phil rubbed his belly.

“You’re the best boyfriend ever. I’m gonna marry you,” Clint declared

“I’m sure you will,” Phil said, humoring him.

“And have your babies.”

Phil chuckled. “Not possible, but I appreciate the sentiment.”

“And personally care for you when you’re old and Skye wants to put you in a home.”

Skye nodded with a smirk. “You’re totally going in a home when you’re of age, Daddy,” she said sweetly.

“No, cause your half-siblings and I will care for him when he’s elderly,” Clint argued. “And I’ll even do housework naked even though you’re too old to even cop a feel.”

Skye grimaced. “Ew, why would you say that?”

Phil laughed, rolling his eyes. “Thank you for your future devotion just because I once rubbed your belly when you were a moron and ate too much candy,” Phil said, leaning down to kiss Clint’s head in spite of his harsh words.

Clint sighed happily, letting his eyes fall shut. “Best. Boyfriend. Ever,” he declared. 

Phil met Skye’s gaze and they both rolled their eyes, but when she turned around he couldn’t help smiling down at Clint affectionately, watching him rather than the TV as he relaxed in his lap. 

Phil couldn’t remember a better Halloween.


End file.
